Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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