she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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