After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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