It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
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You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
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Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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