So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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