Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Hello my rib-scented angel!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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