he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
