a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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