Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
as a side note pls kill me
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
