after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
