He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
