i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
did i walk over a car last night?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
