how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
