Jerry, you need to find god
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
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