I intend to get homeless drunk
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
