the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
