i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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