I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Pooping to opera.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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