I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize