A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
