Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
whose parrot is this?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
