Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
