I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
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I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
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Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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