Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
