Your mouth is God's brothel.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she peed on how many people?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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