I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
