i just google imaged poop.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
