from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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