i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
