dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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