Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize