We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I wear drunk well.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
