Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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