For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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