Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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