I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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