Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Can you bring me the toilet please
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I think I just sharted jello shots
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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