It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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