wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Randomize
