I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
