Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
