wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
