I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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