Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
