let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
