OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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