I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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