3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He shit in the fireplace
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
