i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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