I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
