How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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