i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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