While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
