I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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