I wish i was in the wii world.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
