just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
