he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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