Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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