"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
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He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
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She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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