So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
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somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
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You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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