I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
