I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I have post one night stand depression
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
