kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
it glows. i had to have it.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
