his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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