the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
false alarm, still single
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